Arcade Fire Best of Craiglist

Craigslist is flooded today with desperate people without Arcade Fire tickets. Here are some highlights.

I'd like to visit, but I don't think I'd like to live there.

I will sell you approximately 5 acres of moonrock front property in exchange for 2 tickets to see the arcade fire at judson church in new york city. you get to enjoy clear views of earth and no gravity, i and a friend get to see a cool concert. transportation and oxygen not provided. [link]

The Apts/Housing listings are two doors down on your left.

I'm looking for a new apartment in Manhattan. Make it happen. [Link]

OMG IT'S A FIRE! sale.

Additionally, I offer cash or trade for any items having to do with arcades (ski-ball machines, amusement park rides, boardwalks, tokens, etc.) or anything to do with fires (cigarette lighters, gasoline, Great White concert tapes, Backdraft movie posters, etc.). I can also pay you a small but generous fee to call my cell phone and say "Arcade Fire" to me when I answer or, for a slightly lesser but no less generous amount, text the words, "Arcade" or "Fire" to the same cell number. [Link]

Read the fine print before you pray to God.

As I knelt at my wife's hospital bed I prayed to God that if he let my wife live through this, I would attend every Arcade Fire show for the rest of time and, not only attend, but be the ONLY attendee. I was surprised when she lived because I do not believe in God or any organized religion and it just proves how stupid praying is because if I'm not religious, then why did my prayers come true? Anyway, long story short, she died anyway, of old age but, irregardless, I'd like to be the only fan in attendance for all of the rest of the Arcade Fire's shows cos they rock! I have money. [Link]

That's you sacrificing your diginity? What does that make me?

Will Sacrifice Dignity For Arcade Fire Tickets: I will pay you as much money as i can (this is obviously negotiable) and perhaps sacrifice my dignity. Most likely this means a really nice dinner at a really nice resturant. [Link]

This is more like it:

If you're a hot chick, i'll give up my 2 valentine's day tickets for sex. good sex, mind you. as soon as the deed is done and the sheets are dry, i'll hand the tickets over. [Link]

This guy really has no balls. Dude, just say it.

I will give the second ticket to any single girl who will spend time with me before the show - dinner, maybe more? I know there are some pretty major fans out there, so it'd certainly help if you described what "more" means to you. [Link]

"More" means "less".